No Pasaran

So I heard Mr. Bush told some of Belarus' people NO PASARAN to USA!!! This is definitely a good news. I think that is how the democracy should be imposed in all these axis of evil nations -- you dudes stay where you are and we punish you but NOT allowing you to come to USA to learn how the democracy works. Makes perfect sense. Democracy means cheap vacuumcleaner plus identification and black-listing of all non-democratic individuals!!! I don't know, maybe I am not democratic enough myself. I heard that Lukashenka is very upset that he can't vacation like Sarkozy in New Hampshire. Lukashenka said he would have to go to Monte Carlo instead. Those Europeans are not democratic enough to deny him the visa. Good thing I can skok-skok right in front of the White House. Not that anyone would care. I heard all sort of people skok-skok over the fence and get detained on the South Lawn. Or is it North? I wonder if these two lawns are any different. Would be fun to see sometimes. My idyllic Belorussian dream....

Belarus, if you must know, does not suffer torrential rains, and its subway system never closes, either due to flooding as in NYC or due to "suspicious" packages like the Red Line in D.C. We Belaurassians are never suspicious. In fact, "trustworthy" is the most comment middle name here in Zajibatychi. I believe Americans should come to Minsk to study how to take the subway. Everything is so orderly, trains are clean and run on time. Could never film that "Man in Black" II movie here -- there are never any... BUGS in the electrical system... Kolobok -- well, different story -- I do take subway every time I am in Minsk. Noone announces though (although I wish they would sometimes) -- Kolobok on the escalator. Sounds romantic though.

I am so happy to be telling you about Belarus. We have lots of fun here. My favorite thing to do in the whole world (after skok-skok) is to make sure our beloved Belarus becomes democratic and free like your USA. So I want to ask you how I can make it happen. I hear USA is very good about making other countries democratic. I do hope you help my country too.

Hello from Belarus

My dream is to come to the United States and build a better life for myself. I am a resident of Belarus and do not understand why your great president Bush does not topple my horrible president Lukashenka. Why we Belarussians do not deserve Operation Freedom? We would even acceept Operation Chut Chut Freedom. A tiny tiny bit of Freedom we want. Our Batka wouldn't let us though. That is why I talked to my fairy today and she turned me into Kolobok. Kolobok is an ancient Belarussian fairy tale hero who is big and strong and (almost said wears a thong because I like to rhyme things) fights for poor people against haves. Robin Hood from Gomel neighborhood. So me now is Kolobok. The most amazing thing about Kolobok is that he can do skok-skok. Which is to jump at an unlimited distance. For example, I can jump from my home village of Zajibutychi all the way to the city of New York. But I am not going to, not yet. I am writing to your my Internet friends to help me to write a letter to President Bush asking him to liberate my people the Belarussians from the totalitarian oppression. And for everyone of you who responds to my blog and tells me he or she supprots me I will tell you one fascinating thing about my country Belarus that you may not know. Don't worry, Kolobok will not be Borat and will not play a cruel joke on you about wanting to marry Pamela Anderson. I will tell you about how beautiful my country is and how much we Belarussians want to have freedom and live like you do in the U.S.A. I hope Mr. Bush reads my blog one days and decides to come and help us. But maybe because I am now a Kolobok who can do skok-skok I will skok-skok to the USA and tell Mr. Bush the story of my country Belarus in person.

Mr. Bush. Please respond. Will you help Belarus?

With respect,

Zajibatychi village, Gomel region.

Kolobok